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I entered my room in anger, frustration without having a proper reason for my depression.

A cup of hot coffee served by my mom, even though I felt her care, I arrogantly told her to keep it on my table.
I needed relief and some credits of appreciation for the recent posts I published in websites.
I felt as if my mind and my soul were scratched with disappointments and distractions.
I jumped into "GOOGLE" and started searching reason for my unknown sadness, not knowing where I would end up with after finding the reason, but knowing reason would be better than sitting simply with eyes opened is what I guessed.
Time had began to elapse, and as the sorrow that separated me from my happiness increased, I began to find the reason for my lost Smile. My life now, as an adult, became too busy to take time out for joy with friends because, I had deadlines to meet, goals to achieve and a career to concentrate.

But a pity thing I found was,

"Every busy worker take up a common break with their colleagues and have lunch together sharing their happiness boosting their spirit... being a student I dint had that chance to drink a cup of coffee with my friends.
Oh!!! COFFEE
That coffee kept on my table was alone and had become too cold to touch all cream of milk collected on the top same as my mind covered with full of frustration.

"Drink coffee when served hot

Enjoy Life when you are alive 

Cold coffee , pale life will never taste good" 

Well said by writer supoz came to my mind

"Choose your interest, 

work with rest,

have rebirth ,

enhance your hobby ,

have better life,

let your mind relax -

with the songs that make you to dance."

Nice quote written by scottland writer zoeh

Motivated me to plug my headphones , I went to kitchen to prepare a hot cup of fresh coffee.
In a porcelain mug gifted by my knees, I poured fresh hot coffee and brought it to my room
coffee smell added more taste to the music

"songs spread the fragrance of unleashed memories "

Sun was on his way to depart in the evening, clouds made my room dark as insult which covered my potential , I saw my shadow holding a coffee cup alone in dark which sat in-front of laptop & disappeared inside the screensaver of my laptop. I stared at the screen saver "PIPES" which started from the middle of the screen took blue n went up and down with all colors moving right and left tangled inside taking never ending curves.

It mesmerized me n took my attention deep to have comparison with my life .
Where I created friends n joy which had ups n downs too, without start and end for the trust showed by people n overall confusing entangled dreams for life in between the people who added true colors to my life n with the friends who showed their true colors.

I smiled as I drove past the situation which I came across.
I had lost with some precious memories, but they seemed to be flooding back, filling my heart.
The tears started falling down with unhealed pain all together . I sensed the reason for my depression and that would be the ignorance showed by friends. Pushing my hair out of my eyes, I took kerchief n cried till all tears of frustration gets empty.
It didn't took long time for me to find what I was looking for... my tears faded the words of expression.
I sat calm, eyes closed, listening to the song mixed with memories. Tears slid down my cheeks,
I spent few seconds trying to forget the things that made me cry ignored the things that pushed me to depression.
 I became more stronger than ever,

"If you ignore me i'll ignore you...
I'll ignore you, so hard that you doubt your existence"

I became so independent without ego or pride. I leave my way naturally with attitude reformed to prove myself stronger than ever.

 I had now learnt how to say good-bye.

GoodBye

to the people who neglected me, to the situation that missed my way , to the opportunity that turned back,  to the doors that shut , to the attitude that others showed and to the sorrows that snatched my smile.  

"I don't think you know how bad it hurts
To see all the good times buried in the dirt
All memories dumped and trashed
My heart is frozen, can't even move
Can't believe that I existed with the smile and with lots people all around"

--$uparna...

#suggest title for this story

Virtually Realistic -VR

       

             So boring, I was standing still in JNNCE bus shelter with my feet planted firmly beneath me.

Wearing a new glasses somehow I was supposed to step into and through a map which appeared in front of my eyes, when a blast of warm air ruffled me around...I was on a sandy beach in Hawaii Island, A spray of clean ocean air mists my face and sailed me towards the Jurassic world.

But before I can reach out and touch the long leaves of a sun-kissed palm tree, the ground under my feet cracked and I've been sucked through a wormhole. Seconds later, I find myself back. This is adventures experience on VR(virtual reality). Generally we call this as "4-D" experience not hallucination and its one of the latest innovations in virtual reality. Delivered via screen and headset with a special effect.

You feel as if you're in a Jurassic movie playing with dinosaurs around you, all above you, underneath your feet the snakes and leaves hitting your face.You don't direct it like a video game but instead hold on and go for the ride. It is very well might be the future of "travel to space" and whenever you get bored you can create your dream place and even feel the experience.

you can have experience through the special aspects of virtual reality (VR) which makes you to smell the salty air (via a synced scent release), or when you tunnel through a wormhole you feel the ground shake (via motion signals and a rumbling platform) when dinosaurs are about to hit you in Virtually you react and experience the effect in Reality. VR hardware is suddenly cheap, portable and you can create your work space as a pioneer with "GOOGLE CARDBOARD". New innovation creates a new virtual world in reality through the application of VR.
I shared my experience and now its your time.

"It's a race right now started and VR is leading ahead, have the experience and be a part of it."

--$uparna...

NeVeR ENDing FriENDship

It is so worth remembering...

 "The First Day I Met You" 

Today! The best day to recall that,

"How Much I Mean To You"

I still remember the day we met 

We were too shy to see at each other

It's funny to think back to that time

Because now we're like mirrors!

We've been learning so much together

In so little time we have shared 

I will never forget such moments

Those are the best moments we enjoyed!.

You will be always there for me

to lift my spirits up the sky

 I cannot regret the time I spent

Because it's all so worth while!

you're more than a friend to me

you're my teacher to guide

you're more than a sister... 

like a mother to care me as your child!

--$uparna...

Departure of Depression

"Bad day"
                 Everyday I felt the same and had the same verdict that "today is not so good to me - unlucky day" and almost from a week I was uttering the same thing & concluded with a word as an "unlucky week".

                  Those bad days will enter people when they seem that they are "sad" , I don't know what's wrong with that whole week?
It had 24 hrs a day and 7 days a week . Even the rising and setting sun didn't forget its job. Everything was normal. Still I felt everything as abnormal.

                I didn't forget to wake up in the morning & to sleep at night, even i was having food in time... but somewhere I felt lonely, depressed , in-activeness all together it was just " damn boring" n "disgusting" situation .It continued for a week ,... no enjoyment , no commitments , no friends & even no spirit to talk with others , some sort of discomfort i sensed all around.

"Without interest the work you do will never be effective and the result you expect will never be positive "

            > Putting sad as status in facebook cant fetch friends you actually need because if those friends are with you , you wouldn't have updated such kind of status.

           > Searching sad pictures and updating as your "dp" in WhatsApp can only increase the number of downloads not even a single person bothers about yours dp and even not about you...

           > You expect some one to hold your hands when you are alone, someone to cheer up when you are broken

           > Most interestingly !!!  you expect some one to understand the reason for your sadness which actually not even known to you and console you accordingly?!?...

HOW come its possible ???

           "You yourself don't know the reason for your sadness and you expect some god or goddess like creature to understand it " - it seems so funny

Does it really happens in the real world ???

          Still your heart expects some extraordinary things to happen & your mind imagines an abstract help from your close one whom your heart knows well.

         But you'll never know that when you are depressed ...The "one" whom you require most to boost your energy and spirit to infinity can be non other than "YOU" 

        Your mind still continues to expect someone and your heart knows that "someone's" absence might be one of the reason for your depression.Then to set it right it...  It can be possible with the one who is more powerful than the one whom you expect.

                 Why don't you realize that most powerful person is non other than "YOU"

YOU are the creator
    YOU are the healer
        YOU are the motivator
and even YOU are the infinite spirit to drive yourself

If you can't love yourself then who will fall in love with you
  If you can't care yourself then who will really care for you
    If you can't heal your own pain how come you expect others to do it for u???

   You need "one" to laugh with you to rejoice with you,

 let your heart smile along with your soul.

You need one to share your pain, 

let your hobby heals that soon.

You need one to move along with you,

let your shadow follow you.

You need one to show love,

 let you yourself fall in love with you.

If you need happiness to hug you tight,

let your hands say bye to your depression.

             As one begins to come out of a depression, there occurs self healing. One fears that the departure of the depression is not real. As one comes out of a depression there is a great sense of gratitude for those who have been true to them self. 
            “You have stood by me in my trials; you will ever be written on my heart.” With the departure of the depression there is often a change of behavior in a positive manner.
           
 But what this darkness and gloom threaten to do is to attack the person again. 
“what if the depression comes back again and stays?” 

            As the world was seen before, so it is seen now. One gradually makes judgments as in earlier times. Work seems appealing and absorbing again. Activities of fun seem attractive. Purpose starts to instill each day. Life has meaning once more. In this emergence from the dark-filled room, one has to cling, cling to the light and never look back. If the darkness approaches again, it must be fled with all one's strength. Gradually the light becomes more steady and sure. 

          During depression mornings are always the worst time. Now they are filled with sunlight. The singing birds proclaim hope. During the day, when moods used to change with game of sun and cloud ,a new zeal for life and its challenges appears. In the evening, when all could be go gray. Instead of longing for death, one is deeply grateful for new life and for all those who cared.

--$uparna...

EXPRESSION SAYS IT ALL

Before speaking a word

your mind thinks a while

when you're about to verbalize 

your expression conveys it  

This is usually the case

I can read the signs well

From a person’s face

Smile says you are happy

Dropped jaw says you are sad

The way you look says a lot

About what’s on your mind

Whatever expression you’ve got

Your true feelings can be find

I can understand the language 

of your speaking eyes

can sense that message in mind

can convey my reply to it  

connecting with your eyes

I can nod my head 

up and down, left and right

to say yes or no without words

only with the action what i mind

The way you look at me

with a question in mind

can be answered quickly

Bcz

your expression says it all

With a smile and wicked laugh

I can differentiate and I'm smarter

because i look deeper in your expression

not with your words and grammar

Smooth words can mislead People

not the expression that comes from mind

I can sense the laughing tears

I can see the crying smile

behind the expression that appears on your face

"Expression speak more than words... Expression says it all" 

- $uparna... 

 

"Candles of Life"

It was on ethnic day...

                The event began as a rally from the main building of the college to auditorium....
Gorgeous girls with all makeup,colorful dresses,magnificent bangles, matching elegant earrings and in enjoyment taking selfies...
                 We walked in a group towards college auditorium...
On the way I just deviated from my path and entered a place surrounded by neatly trimmed trees and grass... Tall pointed towers rose from the roof of the amazing church. Windows surrounded the separate towers. There were various brown, elegant doors leading towards the entrance of the church. With an inquisitiveness in mind...

                 I stepped inside a vast church looking at the empty benches and dim lights which shaded orange everywhere.

                 With a white dress i was like angel following my shadow towards heaven...

Calm mind,peaceful heart with a happy soul... I went so close to the sculpture which shined more brighter with the glowing candles lit by others.
I closed my eyes to put my prayers to the almighty ...
I heard sound of footsteps but neglected it. As it would be another devotee who entered to put his prayers.

I continued my prayers ...

"Praying is nothing but worshiping god inside the temple of soul".

                I sensed the feeling of closeness from "well known" 'unknown' standing behind me.
(He could be the one whom i know... I'm specifically say that it's "HE" by the sound of footsteps which i heard before)... but I meditated ignoring all the disturbance without getting diverted to such things...
   but...
          I felt the warmness & that person came so close to me n whispered in my ears not to
 "open my eyes"
         The smooth touch of that kindhearted person was so convincing that i hypnotized n followed his commands as his devotee, that person came even more closer and closed my hands with his hands n again whispered to move along with him without opening my eyes...

 As the touch was so familiar i din't refused to walk n went along with him...

"Lighting the candle of happiness, prosperity & knowledge"

              After walking few steps that person made me to light candles one after other with my eyes closed by his one hand, while he took my other hand and made me to light #candles.

1) First candle:

             Even closed eyes sensed the brightness, soul experienced the knowledge...

2)Second candle:
            While lighting the second candle i thought i was lighting the "candle of joy"...

3)Third candle:
           With the 3rd candle i experienced that i lit the "candle of love,wealth and prosperity"

"He whispered again in a hush voice...not to open my eyes...  your dream won't "continue" if you don't complete lighting the rest candles"

I sensed the touch of holiness in the breath of his voice. I went deep in devotion with his words .

I said "hmmm"...

he said
" you are in a holy place lighting the candle of success, candle of dreams "

I never experienced that a "well-Known unknown" with a familiar voice whom i could not able to identify.
He guided me in each step and his words tied my eyes blind folded... i was not suppose to open my eyes till I light the rest candles.
" It was like magical day come true so realistic"

His hands surrounded me like a blanket around my neck
"whispering voice said..."

"May all your dreams come true"
after lighting up the other candles....

Suddenly the church bell rang
 "Daaan"
     "Daan"
         "Daan"
With a shock ...
As a "response" to "stimuli" ...
                                              As "action" to "reaction" ...

I suddenly opened my eyes to see him neglecting his husky voice which said not to "open my eyes"...

 and that was the "bell sound" of my "alarm clock" orotund  @ 5:35 am

I again closed my eyes and prayed let my dream "continue" but I was late to realize that my dream will not continue because, I neglected his words and opened my eyes in the middle.
                      " Dream and Sleep" disappeared with that "Well-Known Unknown person".

--$uparna...

:) ...HAPPINESS IS THANKING YOU ALL...

"Try to make at least on person happy everyday. if you cannot do a kind deed,speak a kind word.If you cannot speak a kind word,think a kind thought. Count up,if you can,the treasure of happiness that you would dispense in a week,in a year,in a lifetime".

                                                                                                      -Lawrence

   Simple things make us happy... It may be a smile ;), or a message from beloved one or a call from childhood friend or having chocolates in a boring class room or..

But...

 HAPPINESS IS WHAT ACTUALLY MAKE YOU SMILE... WHICH MAKE YOU TO FEEL THE REAL HAPPINESS & SATISFACTION INTERNALLY....

When i started writing small poems ... I was the only person reading it... When i shared my writings with friends count increased to 10... 

when i published my blog... count increased to 100...

Some liked what i wrote,some called me stupid,some of them gave me nice suggestions,some gave me a serious comment n some started following n some started viewing it every day....

Now page-viewers reached 1000+ and am happy for it...

                                                                                                                               --$uparna...